Everybody gets nervous when they go on a first date. It’s just natural to wonder what the other person will think of you and whether or not the two of you will hit it off. In addition, people have a tendency to get rather nervous in situations that they’re not yet familiar with. Because every first date involves learning about someone new, including their likes and dislikes, each one of those first dates is a new experience in and of itself. This makes it almost impossible not to be nervous, even if you have a tendency to date a lot of different people.
Just Don’t Say It
Unfortunately, there are several individuals that have a tendency to say things they probably shouldn’t when they’re nervous. You might be rambling because that’s what you do when your nerves get the best of you or you might be talking too much because you’re trying to fill an awkward space between the two of you where no one is saying much of anything. Maybe you’re just trying to learn more about the person you’re dating and they’re not very forthcoming when it comes to providing critical information. With all of that being said, there are a lot of things that you probably just shouldn’t say when you’re just getting to know someone. No matter how badly you want to be able to talk to that person like you would talk to someone you’ve known for years, it usually isn’t a good idea to actually follow through on those desires. This is because it usually works best when you choose to take it slow and really get to know someone as opposed to trying to force the issue too early.
Know What Not To Say
What are some things that are better left unsaid? First and foremost, you should tread lightly when it comes to commenting on that other person’s job, finances, political affiliation, or religion. Many years ago, most parents taught their children that these were things you simply did not discuss with other people. Today, in the world of virtually instant knowledge and the ability to put practically everything on social media, people have often forgotten their manners. They start to believe that if they want to know something, they have every right to ask and you shouldn’t have a problem telling them. Obviously, this can end the first date before it ever really gets off the ground.
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Learn Not To Pry
As a result, you should refrain from asking your date why they decided to choose the job that they are doing. No one likes to be accused of making foolish choices when it comes to their career, nor do they like to have all of the hard work they put into that career questioned. Imagine saying to someone, “Why did you decide to become a teacher when they don’t get paid enough,” or worse yet, “If you decided to become a paramedic, what made you stop there instead of going on to become a doctor so you could make more money?” It’s almost guaranteed that saying something like that will cause your date to get up and leave. It’s also a bad idea to question them about how they feel when it comes to politics, who they voted for or why. As matter of fact, politics is probably a subject better left alone in its entirety. The same can be said for religion. There’s nothing wrong with finding out what religious affiliation your date has. After all, if religion is important to you, you might want to know what religion your date is before you even schedule that date in the first place. With that being said, it’s a good idea to refrain from grilling that person about religious questions.
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The Subject Of Family
Another subject you should consider leaving alone involves your date’s family. There’s nothing wrong with asking about brothers and sisters and where your date grew up, but don’t delve too deeply into the dynamics of your date’s family. Sometimes, there are issues within the family that the individual in question would far prefer to keep private. This is especially true on a first date. It might be different if the two of you were talking about getting married, but when you’re just getting to know each other, you don’t need to know that your date has one sibling that’s in a mental institution and another one that went to prison. In reality, it’s better to keep the subject matter light.
Summary
So, what should you talk about on a first date? Try to get to know your date without prying into their personal life. Just like everything else in life, asking questions is fine as long as you do so in moderation and you use your manners. As long as you don’t try to get them to conform to your way of doing things or worse yet, force them to think just as you are thinking, things should go okay. Remember, it’s just the first date. You don’t have to know their life history right now.
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